Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

I watched Kung Fu Hustle (2004) the other day. It was pretty funny and definitely worth a rental. I especially liked it when the boss of the Axe Gang dances before he bashes this guy in the start of the movie. And then in the intro, he is dancing and then is joined by gang members. It's just funny to see these Asians dancing like in the musicals of the old days like West Side Story and then have kung fu action.

Good spoof!

I'd turn on the English audio because it's tough reading subtitles while there is action on the screen as well. I watched it with both and the audio track doesn't match the subtitled words exactly. Still a funny movie.

FINAL VERDICT: Watch it and enjoy it.

Constantine (2005)

Constantine (2005).

I watched this movie this evening. It wasn't all interesting all the time but it wasn't half bad. Keanu Reeves acted like Keanu Reeves and Peter Stormare acted like Peter Stormare. Rachel Wiesz acted okay but was better eye candy.

FINAL VERDICT: Overall, I have seen worse than this movie. I most definitely wouldn't pay $8 to see it at the theater but it was a decent rental.

A couple of quick movie "reviews"

My movie reviews aren't really reviews in the sense that I will not give you a synopsis of the movie. I will basically just give you a "buy it, rent it or leave it shelved". Simple enough? So, in no particular order (future lists may not be as long)...

Ladder 49 - rent or borrow it.

Mean Creek - leave it shelved.

Alfie - rent or borrow it.

Alone in the Dark - borrow it or leave it shelved.

Ocean's Twelve - rent or borrow it.

Blade Trinity - rent it, borrow it, buy it if you have the other two.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - rent or borrow it.

Team America: World Police - borrow it or leave it shelved.

Bridget Jones: The Edge or Reason - rent it or borrow it.

Yes Men - leave it shelved and buried!

Veronica Guerin - borrow it or leave it shelved.

Assault on Precinct 13 - borrow it.

Closer - borrow it.

Vanity Fair - leave it shelved.

House of Flying Daggers - borrow it.

Taxi - borrow it.

I Heart Huckabees - leave it shelved and buried.

Notebook - rent or borrow it.

I guess that's plenty for now. As you can see, class will probably put a slight damper on my movie watching habit.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

I saw STAR WARS: Revenge of the Sith today.

I must say that although it was a very good movie, the anticipation was much greater than the actual reward. All in all, the movie was a good movie. It could even be called great but not fantastic or wonderful.

Here's what bothers me (in no particular order):
WARNING! Spoilers ahead!

1. Mace Windu, supposedly second only to Yoda in the Force, gets his arm cut off by Anakin, a padawan. Sure Mace was in the middle of a strike to kill Palpatine but he surely could have sensed the young, Jedi-in-training's intentions or felt the waves in the Force his actions were causing. That's the way Jedi anticipate the movements of others is the vibrations they create within the Force.
2. Anakin is supposed to be this gifted and talented child who could bring balance to the Force. He betrays all those that have taken him in and trained him. He begins to listen and believe everything the Chancellor has to say before he finds out that he's a Sith. He's almost like a dumb jock that you can tell wild stories to and he'll believe without having any evidence. Even after he finds out that Palpatine is a Sith, he still believes in what Palpatine has to say. True he is trying to save Padme from certain death during pregnancy but, geesh!, can he really be that stupid!? I guess it comes down to him being weak minded and a freaking whiny ass bitch! Obi-Wan never lets me play with the blow-up Jedi doll when he's not using it!
3. Why does the Dark side seem so much more powerful than the Light side? I mean the Emperor is blasting arcs or lightning bolts out of his hands. Can't the Jedi blast an arc of rainbows or something causing people to have that "good, tingly" feeling all over? Also, the Emperor and Yoda are battling inside the Senate chamber. The Emperor is Force-throwing the hover pods that each delegate sits in during the Senate at Yoda after they just had a lightsaber duel where Yoda is flipping all over the place and shit. I mean is it really necessary to do a double back, triple twist, half gainer while wielding a lightsaber? Anyway, Yoda is dodging these "pods" until finally he Force-catches one and throws it back at the Emperor. It seems though that Yoda was having more difficulty "throwing" it than the Emperor did. The Emperor was basically just flailing his arms to "throw" whereas Yoda seemed like he was Ken from Street Fighter, welling up a fireball in his encircled arms before "throwing" the pod back.
4. Before said "pod throwing" duel, Yoda and the Emperor were dueling lightsabers to no avail. Now, when Mace fought the Emperor it took him but 5-10 minutes to disarm the Emperor of his 'saber. Why couldn't all-powerful Yoda do it in half the time? Is it because he's half the size? Hm...
5. Anakin is a padawan. Why the hell does he have long locks instead of the close cropped style that Obi-Wan had as a padawan to Qui Gon and Anakin had at the end of Phantom Menace? See continuity is key. Sure Anakin was rebellious to an extent but the Jedi Code should have been enforced by the Jedi Masters. You give a kid an inch and they'll take your arm!
6. When the Jedi are systematically ambushed and killed, do you not think that they would have been "warned" through the Force? Yoda was! Now he is THE Jedi but all Jedi are in tune with the Force and they should have, would have felt the attack coming. Also, the Clone Trooper that got the code for killing the Jedi was near the Jedi Knight or Jedi Master and you would have thought the Jedi would have "overheard" the conversation via the Force.
7. Obi-Wan and Anakin duel on the lava planet - Mustafa or however or whatever it's called. Anakin obviously gets bested by Obi-Wan which is funny because Anakin beat Dooku who previously beat both Anakin and Obi-Wan in Attack of the Clones and knocked out Obi-Wan in Revenge of the Sith before Anakin slices his hands off and beheads the poor, old bastard. Anyway, Anakin has lost his legs from about mid-thigh down and his left arm about mid-bicep down. He's got the one "good" arm which was previously sliced off in AOTC. Obi-Wan has a speech moment with Anakin about "why, you were supposed to be the chosen one?" All the while, Anakin is slowly slidig down towards the lava river which again is weird since his right arm is mostly mechanical and he should have been able to maintain a good grip if not drag himself to "safety". So, one of Anakin's leg stubs touches the lava and he yells "Flame on!" and now he's the Flame from Fantastic Four (Okay not really but it could have happened). Now you would have thought that the compassion Obi-Wan felt for Anakin because they were like brothers, he would have put Anakin out of his pain, suffering and just all around "burning" misery. Instead, Anakin is a burnt mess barely moving and Obi-Wan leaves him. I'd want him to suffer too but I would have made sure he was dead.
8. How did the Emperor (1) get to the planet Anakin was roasting on in such a quick amount of time because he was just dueling with Yoda and (2) how did he find Anakin barely, I mean minisculy, alive on the huge lava planet? He couldn't have used a heat source search because the whole planet is a heat source. He could have used the force but with Anakin's Force and life force so miniscule, even that would have been difficult. Never underestimate the powers of the Dark side.

I guess that's enough. I mean I could really go on and on. You just can't mess with my FORCE. It's not right.

I told you I was a Star Wars geek!

FINAL VERDICT: As a lifelong fan, I'd see it again and again. I don't think it's horrible for others but some may be even more critical than I.

Lost in Translation (2003), Catwoman (2004)

The Door in the Floor. Stars Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger. I won't tell you the premise. You can Google it. I will tell you that Kim's character ends up having sex with a young male, probably between 18-20 yrs old. He's never had sex before and let me tell you...how she shows him the joys of sex. It's nothing graphic and you really don't get to see her naked but it's just amusing how the boy gets busted masterbating while looking at a bra and panties of Kim's by Kim.

The movie is a FOCUS Productions movie, and in case you didn't know, they seem to be the new artsy-fartsy production company. You know the kind. Those that make no sense to normal people but somehow others find a great story line, great acting, or somehow a great movie. For example, Lost in Translation starring Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanssen. That movie was weird, slow, boring and I don't know who said it should win any awards except at the artsy-fartsy awards because they seem to be the only ones that understand it. One movie Focus did make that was actually funny and interesting was The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was still weird but at least it was understandable and somewhat enjoyable.

My recommendation for any of these is leave the first two lost in the floor of translation. Rent Spotless Mind or better yet, borrow it from a friend when they rent it.

Catwoman. I can't say that I would have been happy if I paid $7.00 for this movie at the theater.
It is based off a comic book character but it just wasn't believable or fantastical enough for me. It stars the Halle Berry and Sharon Stone.

Again, I won't go into the whole story so look it up if you need. Halle's character dies by drowning. A mysterious cat breathes life back into her. All fine and dandy at this point. I can go with that. It is fictional and a movie so I'll go with it. The part that sucks is that all of a sudden Halle's character fights like Jackie Chan and moves like Spiderman. Now the story did say ancient mystical cats have given reborn life to people in the past for centuries but who would have thought they'd become a crazy ninja bitch?!

Now when I say she moves like Spiderman, I mean almost exactly like it but without the web slinging. She can climb walls just like Spidey. She leaps from high roof top to high roof top in a single bound — the distance between each roof is a good 50-100 feet. Yes, I know. It's amazing!

So anyway, final thought is...let someone else you know buy/rent it and you borrow it from them.

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Well, that's about all I have now. I'll probably mix in some future movie reviews as I see more movies. I'm part of the online renting from Blockbuster so I'll be watching tons of movies over for months to come.