Haywire (2012)

Haywire (2012). I don't know what I expected from this completely piece of shit movie. I did expect a little more.

I kept thinking two things while watching this movie:

1. Do they think shooting scenes of Gina Carano's character running and running and running...and running, made for a better movie? For a while there I thought I was watching Run Lola Run. I believe it was filmed this way because the film lacked any kind of content so the running was filler.
2. When are the nude scenes of Gina Carano's character coming? When the movie started sucking...which was pretty much after the previews...the way to somewhat save the movie would have been to show Gina naked!

The movie was slow, drawn out and just downright pitiful! It's not the way to introduce a new MMA "superstar" to acting. Even Cynthia Rothrock's movies from the 80s and 90s were better than Haywire!

I don't think the acting was really that bad. I think the writing, directing, and editing was just downright awful. With "big name" actors like Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas, Ewan Macgregor and Channing Tatum, I expected more. Instead, it felt like these actors were doing some favor for someone because they owed it to them.

Verdict: Pass on this and never look back. I'd much rather see another Steven Seagal straight-to-video movie than recommend this to ANYONE!

The Ramen Girl (2008)

The Ramen Girl. This was another one of my Netflix viewings. I've had it in my queue for some time and just never really wanted to watch it. I don't even know why I put it in my queue to begin with. Finally, last week sometime, I decided to at least start it. I guess maybe I queued it because I wanted to see what the quality of one of Brittany Murphy's last movies was.

It wasn't hugely disappointing! It wasn't something I'm gonna have to tell my friends and neighbors that they have to see but it wasn't a total waste of my time.

It reminded me of like a Karate Kid meets Top Chef but there's only one meal to learn to cook: a bowl of ramen. Apparently, it's an ancient Japanese secret that's passed on from master to student. The only way the student becomes the successful protege of the master is if the grand master tastes their ramen dish and gives his blessing.

Oh yeah, that's like teaching kung fu and shit and having sensei approve your pupil or like the Jedi Council does for the Jedi Masters.

The movie was occasionally entertaining. It was also occasionally sad. Overall, this movie could go either way: see it or pass it. I took the chance. I wasn't left feeling disappointed...and I'm hardcore...especially since the movie is really about Brittany's character learning to make ramen with her heart and not her head.

FINAL VERDICT: Torn.